Warning Lookout May Be Hazardous For Your Health

Day 5 of Lookout. It rained on the way to work this morning. It rained a bit on the way home. As I pedaled my way home I could clearly make out the peaks of the foothills in the distance. The sight gave me hope that like yesterday’s ride I might be able to sneak in a quick trip up the mountain in between cloud bursts. No such luck today, the rain found me in a big way. Taking the coward’s way out I opted not to take the ride out to Lookout this afternoon…I drove out to Golden instead. To drive home the sheer laziness and hypocrisy of this act let me point out that I’ve already railed on in a couple of blog posts on this very blog about driving to rides. I also happen to live like 9 miles from Lookout…so driving 9 miles to avoid getting ‘wetter’ is somewhat lame, though today it proved fortuitous. The ride up Lookout Mountain this afternoon was quite perilous. Exactly how so? Let me elaborate via the 9 lives of this afternoon’s Lookout cyclist.

Slippery When Wet: It was raining considerably hard by the time I pulled into downtown Golden and unpacked my bike. Slick roads make for a dicey downhill descent. Soaking wet wheels and brakes are the icing on the cake.

Bend Over and Take It: This is what they tell you if caught out in a lightening storm, bend over and stick your rear in the air or huddle in a ditch. As I passed the 1 mile mark the heavens decided to commemorate the occasion with a flash of lightening and a teeth rattling boom. Almost instantaneously I went from “happy ride in the rain” to “get me the f@!% off this rock.” If there’s lightening during the Lookout Hill Climb I’ll race really fast; I apparently do well with a little motivation.

Avalanche: I’m not talking NHL playoffs folks, I’m talking about rock slides. After my thunder shock I heard another disconcerting sound; an odd banging along the guard rail. I didn’t think anything of it really until I rounded the corner and noted debris (sand and rock) in the roadway. Then I put two and two together: wet+loose rock+wind+2+2= the 4th way to go…getting popped in the head by an errant softball size piece of mountain.

FOUR!: This is what they shout in golf when teeing off to warn people on the fairway of the incoming projectile. I yelled a similar 4 letter F word when a VW Golf came careening around one of the corners near the mid section of the mountain while I was heading up the other lane. Presumably pumped full of Mountain Dew and lame techno music, the driver must not have appreciated the slideyness of the road. His wheels squealed slightly, he over corrected a bit and then hiss-hiss of sweet turbo bye-bye. I hate the Tokyo Drifters, especially in the rain.

Now you see me: As the pictures below indicate, it got a little foggy on the mountain as the clouds descended into the area from the north. On my way down I hit the series of switch backs just below the trees and came upon a neat stretch of clear air just before the clouds rolled up the hillside to sack it in with fog. I took this picture of the sign before it became completely wrapped in grey; then I realized your average Lookout motorist likely wouldn’t be able to see me if they came bolting around the corner: time to make a movie.

Switchbacks just below the trees.

Pausing to look back up towards the windy saddle on Lookout.

Sub Zero: The temp was in the mid to low 40’s when I hit the top of the mountain and began the descent. Although I made my way cautiously, hitting speeds of 25 mph while soaking wet in 40 degree weather gets the teeth a chattering.

Well I guess that’s about all I got…doesn’t quite add up to 9 lives. I suppose I can keep the other 3 and save them for tomorrow when it looks likely for rain again. But for people who need resolution, here’s 3 more (albeit far fetched) perils of Lookout:

One might get attacked by a deer suffering from mad cow or chronic wasting or hopped on EPO. After getting thrashed in the Giro Atmos you end up sick with deer disease and croak weeks later as you protest to your wife about how you feel better and just want to go out for a ride.

A kamikaze hang glider could sweep down from the heavens like a nylon clad pterodactyl and knock you and your carbon rims off the mountain side. "Death from above!"

There’s always the time tested, stress induced embolism (like in Clerks…chick dies while swimming laps in the pool…story line linked to Mall Rats where TS apparently told the girl she was fat…I'm a dork...anyway) Not very dramatic but certainly effective.

Safe riding all!