The Mysterious 3 ft to Pass

In light of events which occurred on my way to work this morning, I thought it might be worthwhile to review some of the finer points of the relatively new 3ft to Pass law here in Colorado. Effective July this year SB 09-148 changed traffic laws to allow drivers more flexibility (and clear guidelines) for passing bicycles riding in traffic. The law also clarified some of the nebulous areas around how cyclists could/should travel within the natural flow of traffic. Explicitly, the main import of the law can be summarized by the following:

“THE DRIVER OF A MOTOR VEHICLE OVERTAKING A BICYCLIST
PROCEEDING IN THE SAME DIRECTION SHALL ALLOW THE BICYCLIST AT LEAST A THREE-FOOT SEPARATION BETWEEN THE RIGHT SIDE OF THE DRIVER'S VEHICLE, INCLUDING ALL MIRRORS OR OTHER PROJECTIONS, AND THE LEFT SIDE OF THE BICYCLIST AT ALL TIMES.”
Colorado SB 09-148 42-4-1003 1(b)

The law sent law enforcement and bike detractors into a tizzy, decrying the enforceability of the legislation. And truly, how does one in fact measure a 3ft distance between two simultaneously moving objects? I think Einstein proved this couldn’t be done unless one had a really fast plane, or a rocket ship with some lasers, two synchronized clocks, a wormhole and some e’s equaling mc something or other. Clearly this 3ft mumbo jumbo is some confusing stuff, requiring advanced degrees in quantum mechanics to sort out and effectively understand. The average Joe/Jane coffee drinking, mail reading, DVD loading, text sending, mp3 dowloading, Twitter updating, hair brushing, kid scolding motorist could never even remotely be trusted to do all of this other crap AND accurately discern whether they're too close to a cyclist in the road: its poppycock I tell you! The law hits a level of mystery on par with TABOR, TARP, NAFTA, IRS Form 1040, the Brady Bill, Patriot Act and many other cunning instruments of legislative bureaucracy.

Yet perhaps, oh perhaps, there is hope to unraveling these mysteries. Maybe, just maybe, by using keenly honed powers of…COMMON SENSE...it might be possible to sort out the specific complexities of this bastard child of a law. While I am not sure the likelihood of success, I've put together some pictures to illustrate the finer points of how we all might sort out this 3 feet to pass rule.  With all due respect Mr. Einstein, step aside and allow me to lay out my wisdom.

To demonstrate the complexities of my theory I'll use the case of a typical, oblivious, dumb-expression cylist riding alongside the street in traffic..."OMG its ambassador for cyclists everywhere, current World Road Race Champion Cadel Evans. But he's on the street, WTF WILL WE DO?"

Thanks to the wonders of common sense coupled with a little deductive reasoning, it can probably be assumed that when these legislative crackpots said, "3 foot separation" they probably did not mean, "ride up the ass of the person on the bike and scare the living shit out of them." As tricky as your average legislator may be, I think 3 feet might actually mean something different. As pictured below, even Sir Isaac Newton, rotting in his grave, can tell that up the butt is not 3 foot separation. That's indeed something VERY different... "squeal me your ABC's."

Similarly, one could assume the same would apply if the cyclist is actually not riding in traffic but is using one of those said "Designated Bike Lanes" in order to keep themselves out of the grill of passing motorists.  Yes, even if there is oncoming traffic there really should be no need to join the cyclist in the shoulder or bike lane.  Fear not, safety can be assured by either passing normally in the lane (keeping in mind the whole: in the ass thing) -OR- by simply waiting for the opposing lane to clear in order to pass around the cyclist allowing the appropriate 3 feet.

Certainly one's busy, busy day might be interrupted by having to wait 10-15 whole seconds to pass in the other lane, but believe me that text and the cheeseburger can wait...really they can.

Now hold on to your seats, here's where it gets really interesting, Mr. Hawking you just wait til I'm finished.

When passing a cyclist a car need but move over slightly...just enough to be out of the ass and clear of the cyclist.

Ok, breathe I promised no string theory. Just move over and pass. Move and pass. Move and pass. Does it have to be exactly 3 ft? Well by now we all understand up the ass, so what about nearly up the ass or just in the ear? Might be best to just move over so that there's room and then drive past, move on with one's day and finish that latte.

Sure one could say that this still is some complicated stuff, but I think that by abiding by my simple 'move over and pass' theory we can really unravel both 3ft to pass as well as the other mysteries of the universe. In the end we may finally prove or disprove the existence of a higher power, understand what happened to the Mayans, solve the riddles of PI, discover life on other planets, finally figure out what exactly is in Tang and maybe even make the roads a bit safer for both cyclits and motorists...and their respective asses.